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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988367">when there is no one else, only on our own</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinuspinea/pseuds/pinuspinea'>pinuspinea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swan Lake remixes [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Swan Lake &amp; Related Fandoms, Лебединое озеро - Чайковский | Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Lust, Magic, Marriage, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Plot Twists, Spells &amp; Enchantments</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:09:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinuspinea/pseuds/pinuspinea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His hand grasps her before they ever reach the shore. She never dives into the lake, and he never turns her into a swan.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Odette/Von Rothbart (Lebedínoye Ózero | Swan Lake)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Swan Lake remixes [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when there is no one else, only on our own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Swan+Lake+comment+club">Swan Lake comment club</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Oh, Sweet Bastard Man, I think it was about time I gave you true happiness.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Be my wife," he asks of her, "and I shall give you everything you could ever hope for." The promise is as solid as the ring that his magic creates. Odette's eyes turn fearful. She pulls her hands away and rises quickly and stumbles away from him.</p>
<p>Her legs falter and she nearly falls over, but he would never let that happen to her. He manages to catch her mid-stumble and feels the breath quivering in her young body as her eyes become stuck on his face.</p>
<p>Her lungs fill to the brim and she struggles to breathe, and the tears spill over. He embraces her carefully as she cries, and he is lost. Why would she react like this? Why these tears?</p>
<p>They end up on the ground, sobs wrecking through her, him trying to console her, but it only seems to make it worse. He rubs her back and tries to ease her pain.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?" he asks, wishing to understand. It takes a long time before she manages to catch her breath enough for a single word.</p>
<p>"I thought – I thought you were my friend," she weeps. "I don't want to get married."</p>
<p>She cries even harder now. He closes his eyes. Everything in him wants to slip that ring into her finger, to make her his, but he doesn't.</p>
<p>"I can wait," he promises. "I can wait, and I'll wait as long a time as you need me to."</p>
<p>He doesn't realise it then, but his promise becomes a spell.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He waits for her for so many nights that he thinks that she will never return to the garden again, but one night, Odette appears like a pale ghost from the confines of the forest. He looks at her as she slowly approaches. She's like a wild animal, ready to bound at the slightest sign of danger, but eventually, she settles onto the bench next to him.</p>
<p>He lets his eyes rest on her for a moment, and then he studies the lake and its silver surface.</p>
<p>"I thought you wouldn't come anymore," he says quietly. She swallows and tries to rest her hands in her lap, but they are as restless as her mind is.</p>
<p>"Why me?" she asks and searches his face for an answer. He has no answer. All he can give her is half a smile.</p>
<p>She seems to eventually understand that there is no rhyme or reason for it. He wants her, and that is as simple as that.</p>
<p>They spend many a long hour there in the garden. She has infinite questions, of course she has, and he patiently answer them. Her wariness wears of eventually. They almost return to what used to be.</p>
<p>Almost.</p>
<p>"Can you show me magic?" she asks and closes off again. He nods and pulls up a flower. In his palm, it withers and blooms again, withers and blooms.</p>
<p>He weaves the flower into Odette's hair and wills it to never wilt again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Autumn arrives properly and she starts to warm up to him again. It's a slow progress to re-earn her trust, and she still seems hesitant to open up to him. It's infuriating to be pushed back when she used to be so open with her thoughts, but whenever his hands want to take, something stops him. Whenever he wants to speak his mind, the words die in his throat. Whenever he wants to do anything to the situation, something takes control of his body.</p>
<p>It doesn't take long for him to realise that his own magic has turned against him, but that seems to be the thing that allows Odette to trust him again. When he doesn't bring up that night, she seems relieved. When he doesn't ask her to marry him again, she slowly relaxes and starts to smile at him again.</p>
<p>And he knows that he can wait if that means Odette will come to him of her own free will.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Odette stomps into the garden wrapped in a too-large shawl she has nicked from her mother and heaves out a frustrated sigh. He looks at her curiously and waits for her to speak. Eventually, she will, but she still seems far too upset to talk her mind instead of screaming in frustration.</p>
<p>"They keep pushing marriage on me," she eventually says after dusk is long gone and the night has wrapped them in its haziness. He hums thoughtfully even though his anger flares up and he wants to grind his teeth.</p>
<p>Odette seems oblivious to that. Instead, she stares at the lake for a good long moment, seemingly lost in thought. Eventually, she returns to him like she always does. Her breath forms clouds around them. Without even thinking about it, he pushes warmth onto her skin, just enough to stop her from leaving him too soon.</p>
<p>"You wanted to marry me," she says quietly, acknowledging the fact for the first time ever since that conversation in early autumn. Now they are already close to winter, close enough that her clothes have become heavier and even still she sometimes feels the cold.</p>
<p>"I still do," he confirms. She looks at her lap and bites her lip.</p>
<p>Something twists inside of him the same way her teeth twist her lip.</p>
<p>Words seem hard for her, but he doesn't dare to wish before she says them aloud. He waits while she struggles, but eventually, she takes in a shivering breath and stares at his hands.</p>
<p>"I don't want to marry any of the boys in my village or anyone my father or brothers suggest to me," she says quietly and glances at him. "Would you…?"</p>
<p>He gently takes hold of her hands.</p>
<p>"Is that what you want?" he asks and searches for her eyes until they meet him. There is a slight blush on her cheeks as she nods once and swallows, then nods again.</p>
<p>He smiles at her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The rumours spread quickly the morning he puts on his finest clothes and rides into the village on a severe-looking horse. They only gain more unbelievable dimensions as he heads to the mill and enters with a half-hearted knock.</p>
<p>The miller stops on his tracks and stares at him for longer than is polite, and then he hastily makes his way to the nobleman in front of him.</p>
<p>He listens idly to the miller's greetings and compliments. It's not difficult at all to hold a conversation with such a simple man, and not difficult at all to get an invite into his house to meet his sons, wife, and daughter.</p>
<p>It is only the last one that von Rothbart even cares about.</p>
<p>They walk across the village to a house surrounded by a simple wooden fence. There is an older woman working in the garden who looks up in surprise. Odette looks much like her mother, von Rothbart muses to himself, though not at all so hardened and worn down by years.</p>
<p>The two sons are the next he meets after being shown inside and given the best food the house has to offer. The miller's wife is certainly a good cook, and the sons are more intelligent than the typical peasant, but they hold nothing to the brightness that is their sister.</p>
<p>His eyes are drawn to her the moment she shows up in the doorway, and she stops and looks back at him in surprise. Odette quickly schools her features and goes to help her mother, but he follows her movements.</p>
<p>That does not go unnoticed by her father or her brothers, but that was his intention. After all, if they push Odette to him, that is all the better.</p>
<hr/>
<p>There are more moments such as that, moments that could be thought of just an innocent coincidence, but the villagers see the looks he gives to Odette. She is beautiful, exceptionally beautiful, but soon no other man even dares to look in her direction in fear of angering their count.</p>
<p>Odette seems relieved when the other wooers disappear, and slowly, she starts to smile at him again.</p>
<p>He meets with her father one dawn at the mill. The man is just starting his day of labour and has no idea that von Rothbart has spent the night talking with his daughter at the lake's shores. The miller gives him a grunted greeting as he lifts a heavy bag of flour onto the cart.</p>
<p>"I want to marry your daughter," von Rothbart announces. The miller's eyebrows creep up. It's unheard of that a nobleman like him would want to marry a simple peasant girl as Odette, but he doesn't let that stop him.</p>
<p>"I don't have much money to pay for her bride price," the miller notes calmly. Von Rothbart sees that the man's hands are shaking a little. He seems afraid of ruining his chances of getting a good marriage for his daughter.</p>
<p>"I have more than enough money to ensure the best possible life for her," von Rothbart notes. The miller straightens out and gives him a careful look over.</p>
<p>There have been stories of men like him sweeping in and stealing beautiful girls from such remote villages as this one, men that disappear with those girls. There have been rumours of horrible faiths and skeletons found only years later, of men that return to those same villages year after year to find a new bride, but he is unknown in these parts of the world.</p>
<p>But he has not even looked at anyone else than her, and that seems enough to calm the miller's fears.</p>
<p>"If you are certain," the miller says. Von Rothbart smiles.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A house of those proportions should take months, perhaps even years to finish, but he throws enough money at the workers to make certain that it is finished before the winter arrives. It is agonizing to wait, because he knows that only once he has a house can he bring in his young bride.</p>
<p>The villagers are slowly getting used to the idea that the count wants to marry the miller's daughter, but there are still curious looks thrown in his direction. Some ask about it from his Odette, but she simply shrugs at them and tells them that she knows just as little as they do.</p>
<p>It is harder to steal moments alone with her now that her father and mother know about them. Odette rarely has a chance to leave their house for long enough to come to the lake, and even when she does, she has to return quickly in fear of getting caught.</p>
<p>Once or twice he casts a spell over their house and makes everyone else sleep soundly, and he takes Odette to wonderful little spots in the forest, such quiet and lovely and dark spots where he would love to have her, but his hands refuse to take and his mouth only quirks into a smile, never into a kiss.</p>
<p>But she always looks at him with those large eyes of hers, and she speaks again of what passes her mind, and he's patient enough to know that a few months will be a small price to pay for an eternity with her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Then there is finally the day that his house is finished, and two days after that, they have a feast and a party that lasts all night. Odette makes a lovely winter bride, dressed in fine, warm wool and a deep dark cloak that makes the blush on her cheeks even more endearing. Von Rothbart holds her in his eyes and admires her and knows that this night, he will finally have her for himself.</p>
<p>There are slight tears in her eyes as she says her goodbyes to her father, and she gives her mother a tight squeeze, but she comes to him eventually. He wraps an arm around her waist and gives a nod to her father, and then they walk to their new home.</p>
<p>She looks up at the house from the bend in the road for a while and then she glances at him, but she doesn't say anything, simply allows him to guide her to their new lives.</p>
<p>It is homey and warm inside, a cosy fire burning in the parlour fireplace. She sits down slowly and stares at the fire, deep in thought. The flames reflect in her dark eyes as her skin warms up again, and he studies her for a moment.</p>
<p>She accepts the goblet full of wine that he pours for her, and he sits close to her. She glances at him, the wine sloshing with her nerves.</p>
<p>This is the most alone they have been ever since their engagement was announced. No one will disturb them now, no one will drag her away from him anymore, but he looks at her and sees that she is about to burst into tears.</p>
<p>"Would you like something else than just wine?" he asks, privately wondering how he could calm her down. She shakes her head just a little, and then she studies the goblet. Her lips are deliciously pink and he wants nothing more than to feel them on his skin, but he won't move from his seat, can't move any closer.</p>
<p>"I'm fine," she murmurs.</p>
<p>They are quiet for a long moment, sipping on their wine and trying to get used to how things are inside the house instead of out in the garden and by the shores of the lake.</p>
<p>Eventually, he stands up.</p>
<p>"I think I'll go to sleep," he murmurs and leaves his empty goblet by the wine bottle. He looks at her and then smiles. "Take all the time you need."</p>
<p>He undresses alone, wishing that it was her fingers he could feel on his skin, but alas, she is still too nervous and still too young. The door is open in an invitation, and as he slips underneath the covers, he can hear hesitant steps coming closer.</p>
<p>He blows out the candles before she graces the doorframe, and then, the door opens just a little bit more. He sees her, a shadow against the darkness, as she slowly takes off her finest and newest dress, as she lets her hair down, as she stands there for a long moment in hesitation.</p>
<p>Eventually, Odette slips underneath the covers in the safety of darkness. He offers his hand to her on top of the layers of blankets, and she takes it, and he holds her hand and wants so much more than just that, but the anticipation of waiting is almost enough to make up for the fact that he cannot just yet have her.</p>
<p>Eventually, she will cling to him and her mouth will open in a delightful gasp, and then, he will know her in all her glory.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dawn arrives with a gentle crossing over from dreams into a reality that is more wonderful than dreams could ever be. He opens his eyes and sees her youthful face resting on the pillow, her pinks lips slightly parted, and he wants to kiss and caress her, but instead he lets his eyes soak in the sight.</p>
<p>His hand shakes as he reaches over just to caress where her thumb joins her wrist. She doesn't stir, but her thumb twitches a little. He does it again, and again, and again.</p>
<p>There is an uncharacteristic smile on his face when she finally wakes up. A small sigh leaves her mouth as she presses deeper into the sinfully soft mattress. He is so tempted to reach over and claim her completely for himself, but he can't.</p>
<p>He only reaches over and kisses her brow. Odette shivers a little underneath him and then freezes as she realises that he now knows that she is awake, but that is the moment he pulls away from her.</p>
<p>He tells himself that she needs a proper chance to choose him willingly even though a spell makes him get out of the bed and away from her before he does something he will never forgive to himself.</p>
<p>"I'll go see about breakfast," he stops to tell her. She looks back at him with her wide eyes and pulls the covers more tightly around her, and he feels a surge of want almost impossible to stop acting on.</p>
<p>When she comes downstairs, she has one of her new dresses on. His eyes are caught by it, caught by the sight of her looking so completely different, but so completely right.</p>
<p>Odette is no longer the miller's daughter but his wife, and the jewels that decorate her and declare that she is his are almost enough to calm down his raging emotions.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He did not think that anything could be worse than those months waiting for her to become his, but their honeymoon proves him wrong. She is constantly so near him, constantly at his reach, and yet he still cannot wrap his arms around her or pull her as close as he wants to have her.</p>
<p>It is infuriating, the way his own magic works against him, but at the same time, Odette seems relieved that he is not pushing her into adulthood any quicker than she has already been pushed. He sees it in her eyes, in the way that she comes to bed slightly earlier each night, in the way that her hands start to linger in his hands and how she smiles more easily at him. Odette is starting to become his, she is finally starting to trust him, but it is still so difficult to have her always be so close yet always just a step too far away.</p>
<p>There are moments when he thinks he can fool his own spell, moments when he thinks it will allow him to kiss her freely, moments when she laughs so openly, her voice so full of joy and youth, her eyes glistening with tears of laughter. There are moments when he thinks he'll be able to catch her mouth, moments when he thinks that she would kiss him back, but he is always left staring at her lips.</p>
<p>Tonight, they are sitting comfortably by the fire and enjoying the warmth after a long walk in the woods. She is always safe with him. The dangers of the forest know to avoid him, and he wants nothing more than to keep her safe.</p>
<p>She is curled up against his body, soft and pliable, relaxed and slightly tipsy and drowsy after a meal and some wine. His hand is lazily moving up and down her arm, and her face is near enough that he can feel her breath tickling at his throat.</p>
<p>The breeze turns a little. He opens his eyes as she finally takes the final leap and kisses him, and oh, how he has waited for this.</p>
<p>The kiss does not stay chaste for longer than it takes for the surprise to subside. He is quick to answer her tentative kiss, quick to deepen it, quick to ask for more. His hunger reaches all new dimensions. He hadn't thought that it could grow, but now that he has tasted the nectar of gods, he wants nothing more than to drown in it.</p>
<p>Odette makes a little noise as he pulls her close and devours her mouth. His hands cannot touch what they so desperately want to touch, but even caressing her arms is enough for now. The way she presses against him, the way her breathing hastens, it all makes him mad with want and need.</p>
<p>Eventually, she ends the kisses and rests her head against his shoulder. They are locked in a tight embrace and he wonders what she is thinking about. She is still breathing hard, and he feels her heart fluttering inside her ribcage.</p>
<p>She kisses his neck lazily.</p>
<p>"Why haven't you kissed me before?" she asks. It's more curious than afraid, and he knows that this has not been too much to push her away from him.</p>
<p>"I have wanted to," he murmurs back. "Oh, how I've wanted to."</p>
<p>He can practically feel the blush that forms on her cheeks.</p>
<p>"I'll keep waiting," he murmurs to her, "until you want to give me more."</p>
<p>The kiss he receives for that promise is almost more wonderful than the previous ones.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Their honeymoon passes in those wonderful moments when they are all alone and she gives as much to him as she can, and he always thanks her with small kisses and careful words. She is starting to smile more, starting to get used to this new life of hers, and he is starting to feel less afraid of not having her there during all those long winter nights.</p>
<p>Sometimes, Odette waddles into the village and visits her mother and her brothers and her father. She often returns home with her cheeks an alluring pink, leaning into him for warmth while babbling about the village life. He barely listens to what she says during those moments, so struck by the boldness she displays so suddenly, the boldness he is not that used to yet. She does not notice how he keeps waiting for something more with baited breath, simply speaking her mind until she quietens down and stays there for a moment before sharing kisses with him again.</p>
<p>Life with her is so wonderful. Odette is a radiating light in the darkness of his house. She makes him laugh and she makes him happy.</p>
<p>They often spend time in his library. He reads to her, enjoying the way she curls against his body. More often than not, they get distracted by their intimacy at some point. He is allowed to explore her lips and her neck, and once her hands start to stray, he feels the magic ease. He is quick to caress her through all those pretty clothes.</p>
<p>His imagination is driving him insane. He keeps wondering what her bare skin would feel underneath those rustling silks and warm wools, keeps wondering what it would be like to feel the heat of her body directly. He wants to kiss her all over, wants to have her completely, but she is still stalling.</p>
<p>He kisses the skin he can, lays a million claiming kisses to her skin, and she blushes as he holds her in his eyes. Her hair is not proper after so many kisses, not like it usually is. Curls are framing her face and he would like to see her hair free, feel it tickling his own skin.</p>
<p>But his hands stop before they can sneak underneath her skirts or unlace her dresses. His hands refuse to take those final steps, refuse to do so to her, and he's both infuriated and thankful for it.</p>
<p>One day near the end of winter, she pulls his hands to the cording that ties her dress and looks at him with those wide and wonderful eyes. His hands shake and nearly stop him from doing what he finally has permission to do, and he leans over and kisses her.</p>
<p>She looks at him with those trusting eyes of hers and starts to undress him, and he barely dares to breathe as she reveals his skin, as she looks at him curiously.</p>
<p>She looks up at his eyes and whispers the words he has been waiting for such a long time.</p>
<p>She pulls his hands onto her bare skin and meets his eyes with trust in her wide and wondrous eyes and invites him to explore everything they have yet to experience together.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Winter passes onto spring and their garden blooms as if it could sense how full of love and life their house is. It's strange to be with Odette in the garden again. It's only been a year since she entered his life, and already he cannot imagine ever living without her again.</p>
<p>It's been just a year, and now as he picks up a flower that is yet to bloom and encourages it to open with his magic, Odette does not shy away from it. Instead, she looks at his hands with curious eyes.</p>
<p>"Is it difficult?" she asks. "To do magic?"</p>
<p>"It's always been in my blood," he answers to her. "It's like breathing to me."</p>
<p>She nods and studies the hands still. Her touch is barely there as she traces the deep grooves in his palms. There is something different in the way she looks at him right now, something that makes him stop for a moment and rethink the situation.</p>
<p>"Would you like to learn it?" he asks. She quickly looks up into his eyes. There is an almost scared look in her eyes, but at the same time, the temptation is present. A soft glow emanates from his hands and warms the air between them. She looks down yet again, and her hesitation almost kills him.</p>
<p>"I've always wondered what it would be like to fly," she murmurs and rests her hands on top of his larger ones. He takes them to his lips and kisses her knuckles and the softened skin that no longer shows signs of the life she used to live before she became his wife.</p>
<p>He smiles and tells her in between kisses of what it is like to fly, what it is like to spread wings and trust in the winds, what it is like to leave ground behind and rise towards the shining stars.</p>
<p>Odette looks at him thoughtfully and listens to his voice, and he starts teaching her spells even she should be able to cast with no magic yet seeped into her soul.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Magic lessons twine them closer to one another, closer than anything else could. It is a secret only they share, and he feels an immense amount of pride as she catches on quickly and learns to shape magic in her own way.</p>
<p>Magic is not innate to her, but she quickly learns to control it, and as she does, their marriage grows from a hesitant relationship into comfortable companionship. She is quick to ask for help and his opinion, and he is more than glad to help her. She studies intently and trusts his lessons, and soon, she is progressing far beyond what he thought she could achieve in such a short time.</p>
<p>But he is proud of her, more than simply proud. Odette has taken into the role of being a wife more than well and she wears her new clothes with adoration and appreciation. He decorates her in jewels and  watches as she grows more comfortable with their new life, and he is so proud of her when she finally dares to hold his hand where others may see them, when she turns to him at the markets and speaks her mind openly, when she starts to shine outside those nights at the side of the lake.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The summer passes with the sun making her hair even lighter than it is before and with her smiles growing softer for him. It is a summer unlike any of the summers he has lived before, filled with days lounging in the sun with his young wife and warm nights spent teaching her all the magic he can.</p>
<p>Finally, there comes a day when she is ready to try the transformation. They go to the garden holding hands. Odette's nervousness is clear as day to him. She looks at him with short, tense smiles, but he isn't worried.</p>
<p>Eventually, she lets go of his hand and stands alone among the flowers. The setting sun paints her in golds and pinks, and she looks deep into his eyes.</p>
<p>"Go ahead," he murmurs. "I won't let anything bad happen."</p>
<p>She closes her eyes and falls deep into thought. A crease forms on her brow and she mumbles muffled words in her mouth and her fingers twitch with short, careful movements.</p>
<p>He watches as she spreads her hands wide open and lets the magic wash over her, and white feathers sprout from her skin and her hands turn into wings, and he can only admire the white swan standing in front of him in the moonlight.</p>
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